


Catch Me If You Can (No Homo Though)

by Anonymous



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Future, Bounty Hunters, Enemies to Lovers, Government Experimentation, M/M, MAMA Era Powers (EXO), Magical Tattoos, Swearing, Violence, jongdae works at 7/11, mentioned past abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-29
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:27:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23371672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Sadly, yes. I am being kidnapped. Can I get a red bull first though?”
Relationships: Kim Jongdae | Chen/Zhang Yi Xing | Lay
Comments: 9
Kudos: 50
Collections: Magika Astra: Thundervalor, anon





	Catch Me If You Can (No Homo Though)

**Author's Note:**

> **Archive Number:** MA-TV-27  
>  **Conduit:** After escaping from a secret lab, Jongdae must come to grips with his new abilities and adapt to his life as a normal citizen. -Which is easier said than done when a powerful bounty hunter is sent to recapture him.
> 
>  **Author's Note:** thanks to my betas for reading over this for me

Jongdae snaps the chains with one last bolt of lightning, the walls around him starting to shake with all the effort placed on the underground structures. He lets out a powerful scream as the chains snap, setting him free. Practically falling off the examination table onto the ground, Jongdae pushes himself off the ground. In the room to his left he sees Chanyeol struggling to free himself of his restraints. Before Jongdae can get to him, a hunk of ceiling falls, crushing Chanyeol.

Shooting awake and screaming, Jongdae is out of bed and ready to run for the exit. Grabbing things from every corner of the kitchen, Jongdae is panicked. A firm hand on his shoulder stops his antics.

“Jongdae,” Chanyeol’s raspy, warm voice rings out, bringing Jongdae back into the real world. Jongdae freezes, then collapses into Chanyeol’s welcoming arms and warm chest.

“I thought you had died and I got so scared,” Jongdae sobs into Chanyeol’s night shirt, and Chanyeol pets Jongdae’s hair softly and rubs his back.

“I’m not going anywhere, Jongdae. You saved me once and I am eternally grateful to you for that, but you can move past it. I won’t hold you to the past. I am your best friend and emotional support pillow sometimes, and I love you.” Chanyeol places a light kiss on the top of Jongdae’s head and Jongdae cries harder.

“I don’t like that this is happening more often,” Jongdae confesses. “It makes me worried. What if--” Before Jongdae can even speak, Chanyeol sticks a finger in front of Jongdae’s mouth.

“Nope nope nope. No more what if’s. We are just normal citizens, struggling through day to day life,” Chanyeol reassures. Struggling is right — Jongdae and Chanyeol live on a shittier side of town because they don’t have any legal documentation. With no documents, it is harder to get hired, and then it’s harder to make enough money — so yeah, life isn’t perfect. One plus of having powers is that Jongdae and Chanyeol only needed to pay their water bill as Jongdae could produce enough electricity at the tips of his fingertips, and Chanyeol can heat water and use the stove, so overall they are vibin.

“I need to get to work soon.” Jongdae pries himself from Chanyeol’s warmth and heads back to his room.

“Your coffee will be here waiting for you,” Chanyeol calls. Chanyeol works as a bodyguard at some fancy club six nights a week from 9pm-5am. The shifts are a bit tiring, but Chanyeol never lets it affect him. He’s a big sweetheart and it shows by how many tips he gets. Who knew bodyguards even _got_ tips? Jongdae, on the other hand, works at a 7/11. Just as tiring, much fewer tips. Jongdae tries not to work more than 5 days a week, but sometimes he would work up to 11 days in a row without a day off. Thus started the tradition of Chanyeol making coffee for Jongdae.

Sliding his work clothes on, Jongdae looks at himself in the mirror. He doesn’t look awful, just a bit sallow in the cheeks. Chanyeol will probably tell him to eat more meat. Grabbing his coffee, and calling out goodbye to Chanyeol, Jongdae heads off to work.

9am-5pm shifts are gross, but at least Jongdae gets dinner with Chanyeol every night. Well, it is closer to breakfast for Chanyeol, but that’s okay. Even when they eat in silence, Jongdae can appreciate the time together. Chanyeol truly is someone very special in Jongdae’s life and Jongdae wishes him all the happiness earth has to offer.

Hopping on the subway, Jongdae takes in the bleakness of everything around him. Everyone has their head in their phone with the rare exception of a book or newspaper. Same grey, blue and black suits with briefcases. Same lack of excitement. Same as always.

Jongdae chooses to look out the window rather than stare at his phone. The outside world has always been much more fascinating than anything underground as Jongdae spent most of his life underground. There is always something new to look at around the city. Whether its new buildings or restaurants or subway stations, it always feels like stuff is changing.

Before dipping underground into the tunnel, Jongdae swears he sees someone on the neighboring train tracks. It must be his imagination acting up again. Chanyeol lectures Jongdae about it all the time. He says that they need to move on and take life by the horns more. And Jongdae agrees with him, but sometimes things just rub him the wrong way. Maybe it’s because he was in the facility longer than Chanyeol or maybe he’s just like, optimistic.

Either way, Jongdae has to get in the right headspace for work because once they come out of the tunnel, it’s only two stops until his job. The train comes to a stop in the middle of the tunnel. Jongdae frowns. It isn’t completely unheard of for trains to stop suddenly, but usually that happens on older trains in more rural settings.

Jongdae can’t see anything out the windows, but still moves more into the center of the train. His instincts are kicking in and everything says ‘run.’ But Jongdae can’t run in a crowded train, so instead he must kindly ask people to move and back his way towards the back.

Right as Jongdae is going to go to the next train, a strange man, dressed in a black leather jacket and spiked, silver boots, bumps into him. The man mumbles an ‘excuse me’ and Jongdae pushes past him. There’s something on the side of the man’s neck that rubs Jongdae the wrong way. There is a unicorn tattoo on the left side that looks like it could have been done by the same person that did the arrow and curves on Jongdae’s chest.

Jongdae always knew there were others in that lab besides him and Chanyeol, but to run into one in public, one that doesn’t hide the tattoo is scary. Chanyeol has his tattoo on his bicep, so people do see it occasionally, but his is of a phoenix so it seems fairly normal.

Going as far away from the man as he can, Jongdae reaches the end of the train. He opens the door to the conductor's cabin and before the conductor can even speak, Jongdae sticks his fingers to the temple of the man and hopes he remembers non lethal knock-outs still. The shock comes naturally to Jongdae. He doesn’t practice any of his abilities anymore (except for things to make his life easier at home), but these are the types of things you don’t just forget. Sadly enough, this part of Jongdae is ingrained into him. 

Jongdae feels his tattoo pulse with power and it almost makes him dizzy from how good it feels. Then he remembers the punishments whenever he wouldn’t be good enough. When he couldn’t create enough lightning. When he passed out in the middle of training. Jongdae stops himself there. He can’t get sidetracked. Now, how to get out of here.

There’s no door and only a window, so it looks like Jongdae is using his powers again. Pressing both palms against the glass it vaporizes beneath his touch. Looks like Jongdae is slightly out of practice because he gets a few small cuts in his hands. Before, he used to be able to liquify glass and shape it with his lightning, but no more. Whatever, he can still get out. 

Careful to watch his step, Jongdae jumps out of the train. They always say to avoid the third rail so he doesn’t get electrocuted, but the third rail is Jongdae’s friend and is going to help get his strength back up. Landing into a roll, Jongdae touches his hand to the rail. His cuts start to feel better and he is already feeling more human again as ironic as that sounds.

He still has to go to work. Fuck. Superpowers or not, 7/11 waits for no one. Jongdae walks along the side of the train, careful to keep his back to the wall and stay far away from the train. He doesn’t want to touch the rail again and risk shooting some electricity out everywhere as that would defeat the whole purpose of even being sneaky.

Who knows what that guy is looking for? Probably looking for Jongdae if Jongdae is honest with himself. Him and Chanyeol escaped a few months ago, but who knows what they have done with the rest of the people trapped in there. Jongdae didn’t personally know them at all, but this one didn’t escape and is now acting on the orders of the government.

Small benefit of Chanyeol and Jongdae escaping: the superheroes program the government is trying to start hasn’t actually started yet. It’s probably been postponed until they get Chanyeol and Jongdae back because they have so much information on the government’s program.

Right now if they came out with it, there isn’t much proof. But if the government announces they have some new heroes, it becomes much more believable. At least, that’s what Jongdae thinks.

Once Jongdae reaches the front of the train, he hears glass shattering. Spinning around, he sees the man from earlier jump out of a broken window. The cuts that he gains disappear within seconds and Jongdae feels his heart drop to his feet. Of course he has to face off against the one with super healing when he hasn’t properly fought in close to six months.

“Are you Chen?” The man asks, taking a step forward as Jongdae takes a step backwards.

“No?” Jongdae replies, hoping to take the easy way out.

“Then why do you keep walking away from me?” Jongdae catches a slight accent to the man’s speech, meaning he must be non-Korean, which hopefully meant he wouldn’t be that familiar with the setup of Seoul the way Jongdae is. The man pulls a sword out of his jacket and Jongdae yelps.

“How did you even get that in there?” Jongdae whines, as he paces backwards in time with the man, closer and closer to the exit of the tunnel. If Jongdae could just get into a crowded public space he could lose this guy. One thing Jongdae knows for sure is that the government wants things to stay pretty quiet and while shutting down a train isn’t too quiet, it’s normal enough to slip under the radar.

“Do you know of the whereabouts of Phoenix?” Ah yes, Chanyeol’s old name. Every person has been given some bullshit name that doesn’t really mean much to them, so Jongdae and Chanyeol made up their own nicknames for each other on the inside and they just stuck.

“He doesn’t go by Phoenix, so good luck in finding him,” Jongdae calls. “Also tell the government to fuck off, they won’t get me.”

“Yes they will, Chen. While you live in this country you can be found. You’re honestly lucky it’s me who’s coming after you and not Kai. He wouldn’t be this merciful at all.”

“Then why are you?” Jongdae asks, curiosity getting the best of him. He hops on the third rail and starts walking backwards on it, absorbing the power from it.

“Because I know why you did it, and to be honest, I wish I could have been brave like you. But I wasn’t so here I am.” The man chuckles sadly before rushing Jongdae with the sword and Jongdae does his best to melt the sword a bit with some bolts of electricity. It only partially works, but the tip can’t stab him, so overall Jongdae would call this a win. The man drops the sword and curses.

“That was a gift from the Emperor of China!”

“Oops?” Jongdae takes all the energy he’s built up and lets it carry him to the end of the tunnel. The lightning around him is almost like a protective bubble hurtelling towards freedom. Once at the end of the tunnel, Jongdae lets go of the energy and it disapates around him. He’s hundreds of feet ahead of the man, but he has to be more careful now as he’s in public. Jongdae jumps the fence on the side of the tracks and starts sprinting into the city streets.

This isn’t the nicest area of Seoul, but Jongdae thinks he’s good enough to get through the streets without being mugged. Racing down a block and turning is Jongdae’s best course of action. He wants Mr. Bounty Hunter or whoever to not be able to see him from far away. After weaving through five blocks, Jongdae finds himself heaving.

Jongdae should start working out with Chanyeol again. At least then he won’t be panting so damn much. Jongdae catches sight of a bus stop. He crosses the street and checks the times and locations for the bus. This one would take him within two blocks of his job, and would be here any minute.

The bus pulls up and Jongdae is given a strange look by the bus driver. Maybe Jongdae would have told off the driver about judging others, but today is not that day. Jongdae swipes his card and moves to sit at the back of the bus. He’s gonna be late for work and his boss will yell at him, but at least he won’t get fired.

Jongdae tenses up as the bus goes right back near where the tunnel is. Slouching in his seat, Jongdae keeps his eyes peeled. If he wasn’t wearing what is obviously a damn 7/11 employee outfit, he would pretend to be a business man or someone else important. Though, no other important people are being hunted by the government so maybe he is more important than he thinks he is. Small ego boost in that sense. Though, Jongdae would rather have the government after him because _he_ did something wrong, rather than them doing something wrong.

Oh fuck. Jongdae sees the man again. He’s talking into his phone and looking around. Don’t look over here. Don’t look over here. Don’t look over here. The man looks directly at Jongdae and Jongdae is going to melt into his chair at this rate because this day cannot get any worse.

As if the universe heard him and decided to screw him over personally, the bus stops. Jongdae is about to cuss someone out for the sheer shittyness of this day. Jongdae doesn’t bother sitting up, instead choosing to stare down the man until he sits down next to Jongdae.

“So, you thought you could get away? I wasn’t sure how to track you, but I thought it would be backwards from the train. Why are you going farther away from home?” The man crosses his legs and doesn’t make any threatening movements.

“I need to get to work.” The man scans Jongdae up and down and scoffs.

“Dude, you work at 7/11. What’s the big deal if you miss a day? You were almost killed.”

“You could not have killed me!” Jongdae protests. A few heads on the bus turn, but he chooses to ignore them. “I am very capable.”

“I will not take what you say seriously as you escaped five months ago and work at 7/11.” Jongdae is so close to burning this guy’s hair to a crisp, fuck the consequences. 

“So what if I work at 7/11? It’s better than being some kind of lame bounty hunter,” Jongdae counters. “And for the record, before you do anything I am at least checking in at work because I’m not getting fucking fired over this.”

“You are full of surprises.”

“That’s what you get when you only read a two-page file about someone,” Jongdae mumbles, crossing his arms and slouching father in his chair.

“Valid point. You also look nothing like the picture they have of you. That’s why I didn’t stop you on the train at all. You would think they could at least predict your glow up,” the man comments. Jongdae chooses to ingore that last bit.

“I bet it’s an ugly ass picture. And you’re telling me I could have none of these issues if I had just sat still and done nothing?”

“Yeah, pretty much.” The man laughs and Jongdae sees he has dimples. “Also, you should sit up because you’re sitting like a child.” It takes all of Jongdae’s self restraint to say the same thing right back in a baby voice. But nevertheless, Jongdae does as the man asked. “That wasn’t that hard.”

“This is my stop and I’m getting off.” Jongdae stands up too early and wobbles a bit, causing the man to try and stabilize him by grabbing his thigh.

“Don’t fall flat on your face before we are even outside.” Jongdae is really going to smack this guy. Who does he think he is anyway trying to kidnap Jongdae? Jongdae stomps off the bus and the man only laughs at him. “You’re shorter than I thought you would be.”

“It’s like you want me to punch you in the face. Because I _will_ do it.” Jongdae turns towards the guy and pushes him up against the nearest wall.

“Do it. I _dare_ you,” he taunts, and Jongdae rears back his fist, then shoots it towards the guy's face with as much force as he can manage. The guy’s nose snaps under the force and his head goes back into the wall. “Better than I expected.” Jongdae glares, trying not to let tears form in his eyes because punching people fucking hurts. Don’t see that in the movies and honestly it’s a bit misleading. Jongdae’s knuckles are bleeding, but he understands the satisfaction some people get from punching things.

At least for the five seconds that the guys nose stays broken. Fuck self healing. From the bottom of Jongdae’s heart, fuck it. As if to taunt him, Jongdae’s knucles throb.

“Fuck you.” Jongdae pouts, stomping down the street towards his work. The man follows behind him and stands close enough so that they are side by side and brush shoulders. “Don’t touch me.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know you.”

“I’m Yixing, but my given name is Lay.” Lay smiles at Jongdae and Jongdae wants to punch him again because curse his handsome face. At least now Jongdae can refer to Yixing by something in his head.

“Why do you have two names?” Jongdae wants to add, like I do, but holds his tongue.

“Because I didn’t like having my name dictated by other people.” Yixing shrugs. “I’m assuming you also don’t use your given name as Jongdae is written on your name tag.” Jongdae doesn’t reply, instead focusing on how he can see his place of work. The glorious 7/11. Jongdae paces ahead of Yixing, hoping maybe he can beg his boss for mercy. Yixing comes in.

Jongdae pushes through the glass and scans around for Luhan. But Luhan sees him first. He is already yelling at Jongdae about being irresponsible and being worried about that state of his life.

“Jongdae! Where the hell have you been?” Luhan shrieks.

“Luhan--” Jongdae tries to explain but it’s like talking to a brick wall. Before Jongdae can even get a word in edgewise, Yixing strolls in an Luhan immediately shuts up because customer.

“Jongdae. I will talk to you later,” Luhan strains. “Can I help you, sir?” Luhan turns his attention to Yixing, who’s leaning against the front window of the store casually.

“Sure thing,” Yixing says with an easy smile. “I need Jongdae. He’s here to check in with you, so he isn’t fired, but this is a kidnapping. And I gotta say that you’re pretty lucky I don’t like stealing other’s jobs. Zitao is after you Luhan, and I don’t think telekinesis can stop time manipulation.” Luhan looks absolutely furious.

“Jongdae, is this true?”

“Sadly, yes. I am being kidnapped. Can I get a red bull first though?” Jongdae asks. He no longer fears Luhan if he’s somehow another escapee. Kinda ironic to think about. Luhan doesn’t answer with words, but with food. Soft pretzels, cheese and slushie all fly off from their locations and are being held above Jongdae and Yixing’s heads.

“Both of you get out of my sight. And as for Tao, tell him to go fuck himself.” Jongdae giggles as Yixing looks more concerned about the glob of cheese above his head than Jongdae punching him in the face. Probably because healing powers don’t cover stains.

“If you say so,” Jongdae smirks, suddenly feeling great. Having your enemy taken down a peg is truly a time for celebration. Jongdae jumps up, snatches a pretel and is out of the door with Yixing trailing after him.

“I can’t believe Luhan is your boss.” Yixing shakes his head and Jongdae laughs. “Now you’re in a good mood?”

“Yes,” Jongdae replies between bites of pretzels. “I’m not getting fired and you almost got cheese and slushie stains on your clothes. Great day.” Yixing rolls his eyes.

“Anywhere else you wanna go before I turn you over to the government?” Yixing jokes. “I only have all the time in the world.”

“I’m taking that as sarcasm, but I would like to go home personally. If I don’t say bye to Chanyeol he’d be pretty sad.” Jongdae polishes off the rest of his pretzel and wipes his hand on Yixing’s shirt.

“Dude,” Yixing whines. “This is designer.”

“It’s a tee-shirt, suck it up.” Yixing pouts the entire way back to Jongdae’s apartment, which makes Jongdae wonder, why hasn’t Yixing just snatched him up and ran. Before they were on a bus, but now Yixing could shove Jongdae into an alley and no one would notice. Probably best not to point that out.

They come to a stop in front of Jongdae’s apartment and Jongdae realizes how sweaty he is. He looks over at Yixing, who still looks like he walked out of a fashion magazine.

“Yo, what the fuck?” Jongdae complains. “We just walked well over eight city blocks, why aren’t you sweaty?”

“Self-healing let’s me stay pretty, what can I say,” Yixing smirks and Jongdae really wants to punch him again, but his still throbbing knuckles say Please-Do-Not.

“This is homophobia,” Jongdae whines as he scans his key into the building. They walk past the mail boxes and over to the elevator that looks like it could be from the Tower of Terror.

“I’m literally gay.” Fun tidbit for Jongdae if he ever needed to set Yixing up with someone. But that is unrealistic, so it will be more useful to use as an insult.

“I bet you’re a bottom,” Jongdae points out as he presses the button for his floor. The doors shut and Yixing makes an offended noise.

“I will have you know, I am a _switch_ ,” Yixing complains. “Besides, you look like you take it up the ass anyway.” Jongdae gasps and clutches his hand to his chest.

“You’re so mean!”

“You literally started it!” The elevator doors ping open and the two shut up for fear of someone hearing their stupid argument. Jongdae sticks his head around the corner and Yixing flicks the back of his neck.

“I will fight you again. I swear to god, I _will_ do it.” Jongdae is so angry he’s pressing Yixing up against the hallway wall. Yixing laughs and Jongdae is three seconds from breaking one of his teeth--

“Jongdae?” Jongdae turns around slowly to see Chanyeol in his pajama pants with a watering can in his hands. Right, because Chanyeol can’t sleep until he’s watered the fake flowers in the hallway. They rest on a table near the window and Chanyeol _loves_ them. It’s pretty endearing to be honest, so Jongdae will prevent anyone from ever breaking Chanyeol’s little fantasy that he keeps plants alive.

“Good morning, Chanyeol. You seem to have caught me in a compromising situation--”

“Why are you watering fake plants?” Yixing asks, angling his head so he can see around Jongdae’s body. Chanyeol looks at Yixing, then looks at his plants, then Jongdae. He walks over and touches the plants with one hand.

“Jongdae! You told me I couldn’t touch the plant or it would die because of all the oils in my skin. I’ve been watering a plastic plant for five months,” Chanyeol cries, eyes watering up and fuck if Jongdae hated to see Chanyeol cry.

Rip his other fist then. His left hand connects with Yixing’s jaw and Yixing’s head nearly goes through the shittily constructed wall. Blood pours from Yixing’s mouth for about five seconds before returning to normal. Chanyeol stares open-mouthed at Yixing.

“Sorry, Yeollie, but I’m getting kidnapped.” Chanyeol looks to Yixing, then to Jongdae, then his hands light up in flames.

“I don’t know who you are dude, but I will melt your face off,” Chanyeol says in what they call his bouncer voice. Chanyeol is a big softie and literally almost cried over a fake plant, but he can’t act like that at his job. At his job, he is tough guy Chanyeol who will break your face. Duality as they say.

“I’m afraid it’s a bit more complcated than that,” Yixing says, but Chanyeol is already mad. He extinguishes the flames and lifts up Yixing and throws him over his shoulder like it’s nothing. Jongdae skips after Chanyeol down to their apartment. Man, Jongdae loves having tall friends.

“Uhhh, Jongdae,” Chanyeol says, stopping in front of their door. “I forgot my keys.”

“Dude, just melt the lock.”

“But I’ll drop long boi up here.”

“I have a name you know--” Yixing interrupts.

“No one cares long boi,” Jongdae comments, poking Yixing in the thigh. Yixing is over Chanyeol’s right shoulder, so Jongdae grabs Yixing’s legs to help keep him up as Chanyeol tries to melt the door handle off the door. Sadly this isn’t even the first time they’ve had to do it and maintenance is starting to get suspicious as to why their doorknob looks like a toddler made it out of clay.

They get into the apartment without dropping Yixing and Jongdae goes to his room to find a mostly unused roll of duct tape. Chanyeol has Yixing in a chair and is currently sitting on him next to the kitchen counter.

“Chanyeol what are you doing?” Jongdae asks. He walks over and starts attaching Yixing legs to the chair.

“Keeping the kidnapper in place with my one hundred and fifty four pounds of sexy,” Chanyeol huffs, crossing his arms.

“I can’t feel my legs,” Yixing whines, head tipping back against the chair and Jongdae can clearly see the whole column of his perfect neck. His tattoo looks especially good, Jongdae notes. Damn, why are kidnappers so sexy these days? It’s really cramping Jongdae’s style. Where are the good ol’ days of weird men in masks? Jongdae rips some more duct tape with his teeth and ties Yixing’s arms to the chair as well. 

“This is looking good,” Chanyeol says and fist bumps Jongdae.

“This looks like it’s straight out of a stupid porno,” Yixing counters.

“Did I ask you?” Jongdae snarks. “Besides you would be so lucky to be fucked by me. Or Chanyeol.” Chanyeol stifles a laugh and gets off of Yixing’s lap.

“Speaking of: why are you getting kidnapped by long boi?” Chanyeol asks.

“Well you see, we are criminals technically. We broke out of the lab and now there’s these guys--” Jongdae gestures flagrantly at Yixing. “Who were in the lab with us but didn’t escape and are now hunting us. This one was sent after me and apparently my boss is another escapee with someone named Zitao after him.”

“Zitao?” Chanyeol’s eyes water and Jongdae panics. “He was the only other one I knew besides you. Sometimes he would give me snacks in between trainings, I miss him so much.” Jongdae spares a glance at Yixing, who looks uncomfortable.

“Yixing, do you know Zitao personally?”

“Yeah, I do,” Yixing admits. “I know everyone who’s escaped and who got stuck. You two and Luhan were the only ones that weren’t recaptured immediately. Suho and Baekhyun got out but were recaptured by Kai within a month.” Yixing mouth is down turned and Jongdae almost feels pity for him.

“You look sad. Why are you a bounty hunter if you don’t really want to recapture us?” Jongdae pushes. “If you had wanted me you would have taken me once you got on the bus.”

“Confession time: I don’t want to do this, but it’s all I know.” Then the duct tape falls away and Yixing stands to his full height. Jongdae gets in front of Chanyeol as a precaution.

“Chanyeol, run away.” Chanyeol opens his mouth to speak but Jongdae beats him to it. “I know you want to be the hero, but I would rather have only one of us go down and not both of us.” Jongdae knows Chanyeol is biting his lip, not ready to say good-bye.

“I love you,” Chanyeol whispers, then he’s running away and Jongdae tackles Yixing to the floor. The tackle catches Yixing off guard and they roll together until Jongdae is on top. He clutches Yixing with his hips and uses his hands to shock Yixing, but Yixing is a bit too fast and flips them over again, Jongdae’s legs still wrapped around his waist.

“Stop making this difficult,” Yixing groans, frustrated and unhappy. Jongdae wraps his arms around Yixing and bites down on his neck. Before the wound can close, Jongdae shoots electricity into the wound which should hopefully make it harder to heal. Yixing tries to throw Jongdae to the floor, but he holds on tight.

“Never!” Jongdae screams and lets go of Yixing with one leg and kicks him in the back of the knees, toppling both of them into the glass coffee table. Glass shatters everywhere and Jongdae is lucky that only his hands are cut up since he had Yixing to break his fall.

“Fuck,” Yixing cries out, clearly in pain. The bite on his neck is healing, but slowly and Jongdae takes the opportunity to shock Yixing’s neck and shoulders where most of the glass is. The tattoo is the only spot with no glass, but Jongdae figures that must be Yixing’s power source, so it would be the hardest to damage. But Yixing isn’t done yet, he throws Jongdae off and grabs the nearest thing he can find (the TV remote) and chunks it at Jongdae’s head. Jongdae ducks and runs to grab Chanyeol’s watering can by the door.

“Why is this so heavy? Good god.” Apparently Chanyeol thought that plants need an entire gallon of water each. Jongdae lugs the can over to Yixing and tries to pour it over him, but ends up just soaking both of their pants and the floor. “That’s gonna soak through the floor, fuck.” Rip Jongdae’s neighbors beneath him, but there are more pressing matters to attend to.

Yixing swings a punch at Jongdae and Jongdae uses the watering can as a shield. Jongdae has never heard metal crunch before, but now he is very scared of what Yixing could do to him if _that’s_ what he can do to a watering can. Imagine what he could do to your insides? A very pesky voice inside Jongdae’s head whispers. Yes, because Yixing wants to bone _now_.

Jongdae runs back to the front door and starts blindly throwing shoes in Yixing’s general direction. Rip to Chanyeol’s air forces but it’s for the greater good. About seven shoes in, Yixing knocks Jongdae to the ground. All of Yixing’s weight is on his chest and stomach so he can’t knock him off easily. Jongdae’s chest is fucking damp from Yixing’s wet legs on his chest. One very solid swing to Jongdae’s face from Yixing is definitely giving Jongdae a black eye.

“Fucking hell,” Yixing sighs. Jongdae looks up at Yixing with his one non swollen eye. At the very least, Yixing now looks a little disheveled. The bite on his neck looks like a hickey and his hair is a mess. Not to mention the way he sparkles with the little pieces of glass embedded in his skin. That really was such a sexy coffee table and now it’s stuck _in_ Yixing. This is so sad.

Jongdae is sure he doesn’t look that much better himself with a black eye, two fucked up fists and sweaty hair. But y’know, tis life. Yixing stares at Jongdae funnily before readjusting himself so he’s more on Jongdae’s lap. Jongdae has no clue what’s going on, but he can’t really see himself fighting anymore. Before Jongdae can admit his defeat, Yixing is kissing him. So maybe Yixing _does_ want to bone.

Jongdae kisses back and Yixing’s mouth tastes a bit like blood, but it’s okay. Why Yixing’s tongue is this flexible Jongdae will never know, but he can certainly appreciate it. Jongdae moans and Yixing pulls back.

“Are we doing this?” he asks, uncertain. 

“Fuck yes because your tongue is magical and I need more of it,” Jongdae says before crashing their lips together again. Oh what a day. Almost got kidnapped and now he’s making out with Yixing on the floor of his apartment.

Yixing breaks the kiss and again and Jongdae attaches his mouth to Yixing’s throat. “Oh my god, you’re so good. That’s so good, but fuck, I can heal you if you--” Yixing moans when Jongdae bites down on his neck (thankfully a different spot from last night).

“Please heal me, my hands hurt so bad.” Jongdae laughs and rests his head back against the cold hardwood. Yixing takes Jongdae’s hand in between both of his and suddenly Jongdae is feeling strong enough to punch Yixing again. “I cannot believe you didn’t just do this earlier.” 

“You’re really hot when you’re worked up what can I say.” Yixing smirks before nipping at Jongdae’s neck a bit more. As he sucks a hickey into Jongdae’s skin, he reaches up to gingerly touch Jongdae’s black eye. Jongdae blinks rapidly as he regains his sight.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Jongdae whines because of course when he’s talking, Yixing bites him. “I swear you must have a biting kink.”

“What gave it away?” Yixing sits up and wipes his spit slicked lips. “I think we should take this to your bedroom because I would very much like to fuck you and that’s not gonna happen on the floor.” Jongdae rolls his eyes.

“I’m going to be the one doing the fucking thank you very much.” Yixing hops off Jongdae’s lap and waltzes down the hall to Jongdae’s bedroom, taking off his clothes as he goes. By the time he’s in front of Jongdae’s door, he’s only in his boxers and Jongdae’s mouth is watering.

Jongdae enters the room to see Yixing fully healed (no surprise there) and holding up Jongdae’s box of condoms. “I can literally fit these condoms, so bend that ass over,” Yixing comments without even looking at Jongdae. Jongdae ignores him and strips off his shirt and pants.

“Those are my size condoms, so you should bend over,” Jongdae counters.

“I will literally bet you twenty thousand won that I can get my cock not only in these condoms, but in your ass.” Jongdae is really going to punch him again. He takes a deep breath and moves over to Yixing and snatches the condoms out of his hand.

“You could have a micropenis. It’s best not to risk it, so bend over.” Yixing doesn’t reply, instead choosing to take his boxers off and oh fuck, that is not a micropenis. That is a meat sword as they say. 

“And besides, if you let me fuck you, I’ll eat your ass.” Yixing drove a hard bargain that’s for sure. Jongdae gets on the bed and sticks his ass up in the air. “I gotta say, you have a glorious ass.”

“Then shut up and eat my ass.” Yixing comes behind Jongdae, pulling his boxers down his legs. He gives a small touch with his thumbs to Jongdae’s puckered hole and Jongdae does a full body shudder. “If your tongue--” Yixing doesn’t let Jongdae finish his sentence as he licks softly across Jongdae’s hole.

Yixing truly has a magical tongue on god. He prods slightly to test Jongdae’s resistance (which sadly is kinda high because Jongdae has been way too lazy to actually go through the effort to finger himself). Yixing makes sure to lube up Jongdae and his thumb before slowly pressing his thumb inside, and making Jongdae imagining things but this feels amazing.

The pricieness of Yixing makes Jongdae’s back arch in pleasure. Yixing forces his thumb in deep with assistance from his tongue and soon he has his thumb sliding in and out of Jongdae with his tongue licking Jongdae’s rim repeatedly. He pulls back only to switch to his pointer finger.

This one is easier and goes in fairly easy, but Jongdae is getting impatient. “Yixing grab my lube or something I’m dying over here.”

“Let me take my time eating you out. You should let me have this Jongdae.” As if to punctuate his point, Yixing slips in his middle finger along with the pointer one. Jongdae nearly cries, why is the most annoying person on Earth simultaneously so hot and gifted with his fingers? God has favorites, yes, but he has shitty taste.

Yixing dives back in with his tongue and with two fingers and Yixing’s tongue, Jongdae already feels close to cumming. But he can’t cum this early, otherwise Yixing will make fun of him and Jongdae won’t be able to live it down. So he grits his teeth and does what any person would do in this situation. Complain.

“Yixing,” Jongdae whines. “You're barely doing anything, hurry up. I think I’m more likely to lose my boner than cum if you make me put up with this any longer.”

Yixing flicks at Jongdae’s hole, but still pulls out. Yixing rolls on a condom and sasses Jongdae, “You’re so whiny for no reason. I know for a fact you were enjoying yourself, but nonetheless, I shall grab your lube and fuck you as you so please.” With lube in hand, Yixing covers his cock in lube and pours even more into Jongdae’s open hole.

“My ass is gonna be like Niagara Falls, I think you are overdoing it.”

“Did you see my cock? And you only took two fingers; this is for your own good Jongdae.” Yixing lines up his dick with Jongdae’s hole and slides in as slowly as he dares.

“ALRIGHT WHAT THE FUCK! Dude, you gotta pause, my ass can not handle watermelons being shoved up it without patience,” Jongdae screams and Yixing halts his movement.

“You were the one being impatient last I checked,” Yixing snarks. “And is this you admitting to the fact you have stuck watermelons up your ass before?” Jongdae lowers his face into the pillows and screams.

“Y’know if your dick wasn’t this large we wouldn’t be in this situation,” Jongdae points out.

“You raise a valid point because if I had a smaller penis I would be fucking you right now and if I had a way smaller penis, you would be fucking me.” Jongdae laughs, because fuck it, Yixing is mildly funny. “Can I move now because I think my muscles are going to give out on me?”

“Yeah, move.” Yixing slides the rest of himself into Jongdae and Jongdae swears he can feel Yixing in his stomach. Pulling out slowly, Yixing grips Jongdae’s hips before plunging back in slowly. “That’s so good, Yixing. Fuck.” Yixing slowly speeds up, focusing more on making sure that Jongdae is comfortable than his own pleasure. Jongdae lets his head roll back, finally Yixing can fuck him.

“Is that good, Dae?” Yixing adjusts the angle of his hips to try and hit Jongdae’s prostate. Jongdae moans when Yixing gets close.

“You’re so close just be better at sex please,” Jongdae rushes out, pushing back against Yixing’s hips as he chases his orgasm. Yixing grunts and shifts his angle just slightly and Jongdae fucking screams.

“Your neighbors are going to think you’re dying,” Yixing points out, willing himself to keep pace.

“They just heard us brawling, then thought I died twenty minutes ago,” Jongdae counters, bouncing back against Yixing.

“Dude, fuck I’m close.”

“Did you just dude me? We’re literally fucking.” Jongdae’s voice breaks and one of his hands comes down to jerk on his cock.

“You did it first,” Yixing points out. “Fuck I’m--” And Yixing is emptying himself into the condom. Despite the overstimulation, Yixing keeps fucking until Jongdae is spilling into his hand. Before Jongdae can wipe his hand on the blankets Yixing grabs his wrist and licks the cum off his fingers. “Yummy.”

“Now I have to disinfect my hand because y'know where that mouth just was? MY ASS!” Yixing laughs as he ties off the condom and tosses it into Jongdae’s trash can. They both lay flat on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. Jongdae is quiet as he says, “Are you going to turn me in now?”

“No.” Yixing looks at Jongdae, but Jongdae is staring at the ceiling fan and won’t look away.

“Why?” Jongdae asks, vulnerable for the first time since the day started.

“Well you see,” Yixing starts. “I came to a realization as we were fucking.” Jongdae snorts. “No, for real. I realized how we are similar and how much I wanted to please you. Two halves of the same coin is the expression I think.”

“That’s pretty deep for a casual fuck, y’know,” Jongdae points out, turning on his side to face Yixing who mirrors him.

“Y’know, Jongdae,” Yixing says, trying not to smile, but failing as his dimples poke through. “If it isn’t too gay for you, I would like to fuck you again.” Jongdae bursts out laughing and so does Yixing.

“Wanna go again right now?” Jongdae asks. “But you have to brush your teeth and I need to clean my head because I really don’t want to taste my own ass.”

“While you’re disinfecting your hand shouldn’t you call Chanyeol?” Chanyeol. Oh fuck. He’s probably out wondering what the fuck happened and called all his friends as backup to come rescure Jongdae or something else just as dramatic.

“...Yeah, I should call him.”


End file.
